shooting stars.

Just before I fall asleep and when I'm really bored I... Lay down and think for a while until I fall into a semi-hypnotic state of sub-consciousness, some call it daydreaming, some call it just fucking spacing out. But I feel like I'm not here and it doesn't matter because I'm sick of putting myself in boring situations and conversations, just everday basic sitcom happenings, some call it thinking but when I'm in this particular state of mind I forget to think and it becomes strictly observatory. I notice things very sensitively like if I focus really hard I can see small transparent blotchea of debris on the outer shell of my eyes. (or the conjuctiva). and can only dollit as my eye moves downward. Its like watching film footage of amoeba or jelly like plankton under a microscope. And when I close my eyes and look up to the sun the bright orange redness radiates an intense picture of blood cells or what I think are blood cells. And they are moving very rapidly and again I can only focus for so long before my eyes strain and I have to look away from the sun into a pillow and rub my eyes hard then I see (some call them stars) tiny spheres of sparkling light which only stay for a second then as my eyes focus again amongst the water or tears from running I open then look up to the sky away from the sun and forget about stupid fucking little squiggly things moving on the outer layer of my eyes or the close up blood cells in my eye lids and I stare at the sky with perrifial vision and not trying but just happening to make out all kinds of faces objects statues in the clouds and I can do the same with wood grain of the panelling on my walls. Once I saw Jesus on a tortilla shell.

Uncertainty like opening your eyes wide in the dark then closing them hard thn open and blinded by the sparkling silver dots created from pressure on the corneas, squint, roll, focus then your blind again but at least you saw light somehow. maybe the light was stored in the sockets or held in the iris or clung to the tips of all the nerves and veins. then your eyes are close again and an artificial light appears before the eyelids, probably just a light bulb or a blowtorch! Jesus its hot! My lashes and brows are curling up and melting emitting the worst smell of burnt hair and thru the red transparency of the light (in my eyelids) I can see a close up view of bloodcells move as I move my eyes back and forth like footage of a documentary of amoeba and plankton jelly like see thru life forms moving man they must be small I can't feel them my eyes must be able to see things MORE clearly than I had expected its like a microscope but it doesn't matter anymore cause they set me on fire now yep I'm sure of it I'm on fire god damn it.

-Kurt Cobain