Cold & Ugly

Underneath her skin and jewelry,
hidden in her words and eyes
is a wall that's cold and ugly
and she's scared as hell.
Trembling at the thought of feeling.
Wide awake and keeping distance.
Nothing seems to penetrate her.
She's scared as hell.

I am frightened to.

Wide awake
and keeping distance from my soul.
I am scared like you.

Feelings in a Nutshell

You know you ain't going nowhere
You're stuck inside while the mind is flying
You said you'd help me in the morning
Twisting on pins into my eyes
And dragging on the ceiling below you
Fixing up the walls with your crooked hands
While you're miles away, miles away, miles away

I didn't think it'll all end up like this
There's spiders on the wall and they stink of piss
Dead heads lying in the corner
Staring at me making me feel bad
I put my hands up to my eyes
But the holes in my palms let me find a way
To corner you

I can feel my chest crushing inwards
Sucking through my skin into my BRAIN
Oxygen pushing on the window cracks in the glass let
It slip away
I start to cry and I keep on laughing
I close my eyes at what's left inside
And then I'll ran away

For all the time this land
For all the time in my hand
Slip around in depth found
Calmness fall once again

Razor blades floating in the warm bath
Air bubbles in your veins turning my hands black
Whispers coming from the next room
Window cleaner keep on SPYING
I put my hands up to my eyes
But the HOLES in my PALMS let me find
A way to corner me

Twelve tonnes hammer for My breakfast
Slipping of the edge in catatonic blood
Multiple decibel inscriptions trying all they
Can in miles an hour... face
Grey and looming downwards
Sniffing all the time for a ounce of silence
Screaming all the way

Numbers counting down inside me
Solar system thoughts circle round my head
False teeth hanging from the ceiling
Feet looking of the goms of the 2nd son
I eat my hands cos my legs are crying
You Broke my neck cause I Snapped my spine
I wish you would Die away

To all the time in this land
And all the time in my hands
Circle Round in depth found
Calmness Fall once again

Issues.

Need some serious therapy. I honestly cannot believe the past few days of my life. Waltzing in and out at her leisure, making no sense, contradictions and hypocrisy the order of the day.

Love.

This is a most mysterious word to many, not excluding myself. What does it mean? How does it feel? Why does it hurt? Can you live without it? I will be honest when I say that i believe in love. I will be honest when I say that you will know what it feels like. I will be honest when I say that I don't think you can live without it. I will also be honest when I say that it is the most incredible and also the most painful thing that you will feel, simultaneously, separately, they are interwoven. A tapestry of colors, representing emotions, threads crossing over each other, as emotions, highs and lows. A virtually unending fabric of texture and substance. At the beginning, it is amazing, it fits, it works, there are no tears or holes, unsightly seams or patches, the threads fit together tightly. As time wears on, regardless of how good or bad a relationship is, the fabric of its construction will eventually be torn here, become tattered there, threadbare, and yet, sometimes it stays together to become a most cherished and loved part of our lives. The most important "thing" we come to possess. Love. What is it? It isn't tangible, we cant feel it as a material, we cannot see the state it is in with our eyes, we cannot hear it or taste it. And yet, a glance into the life of a romantic shows that we can, colors become dull and drab, feelings become numb and insensitive. How is this possible? Love is not living, and yet it can make us feel so alive. Love is not dead, and yet it can make us feel so alone, so neglected or abused, so hollow or depleted. How can a single emotion, run so the gamut of so many others. The scope of the word love cannot be examined by an individual or even by many. It is everywhere, it makes us do things we cannot explain. It makes us crazy, but it drives us as well. It drives us to look for the good in people. It drives us to fight for something we want. It can break us. It can heal us. It can come when least expected. It can be right in front of you. There is one thing that you cannot do when it comes to love however. Do not question it. It is real, it does exist and if you feel it does not, then open your eyes. Someone loves you. Everyone needs it. Do not despair, love surrounds and envelops us, it is everywhere and it is within everyone... It is bigger than you or I, it is smaller than fresh dew drops. Look for love in everything and everyone, and this world will hold so much more for you...

Yet another day

In which I devote eight hours of my life to working, but to what end? More on this topic later, but it definitely gives me something to ponder while I get yelled at for improperly preparing someones beverage they didn't know how to order... Stay tuned

And Now

I have configured this page to further be a glimpse into my life, since I have configured it to be used with my phone... Just one more way to define the term "crackberry"

So...

I created this thing today... Lets see it become one of my most used websites??? Check it often yes?