Black Mask Worn in Secret (Original Thought)

Blood flowing,
Past repeating,
What the fuck am I thinking?
Into what hole am I sinking?
Of sickness it is reeking,
The cold comfort of night I am seeking,
The darkness through which I am peeking,
Staring into blackness bleakly,
Will I be forced to this place nightly?
Weekly?
Crying whilst seraphim forsake me?
Trembling is where anger takes thee,
Into my soul it is creeping,
As needles, into my skin twisting,
Deepest black from my heart bleeding,
Emotion moves to my face for the reading,
As I gaze into your eyes pleading,
To not take this heart for the tearing,
A look of disdain your face is wearing,
Heartbeat in my ears is blaring,
Real thoughts and feelings scaring,
Me into unknown watching,
For a sign, an indication that this cycle is stopping,
Ups and downs are twirling round me,
Thoughts past and present through my mind keep racing,
Up and down this cold room I'm pacing,
For the very worst my heart I'm bracing,
Blood in my mouth I am tasting,
As I bite my tongue, words escaping,
What horrid words am I saying?
These thoughts not contained within me,
Spilling, trickling, quietly pouring,
From pen to paper, the ink is dripping,
A minute seed of hope is growing,
Trunk, leaves and branches taking place of black outpouring,
Small light at end of tunnel brightening,
Before dying under blackened clouds outpouring,
Onto me this lack of hope consuming,
Waves of dispair onto beaches roaring,
Like a ship torn from safe mooring,
Sinking into black completely.